The Annual Yuletide Pirates Ball
by krystal lazuli
Summary: Written for a Secret Santa fic exchange. The request was for a story about the lesser characters from the movies. This story takes place post-AWE in Tortuga. Just a humerous look at the statement "Not all treasure is silver and gold mate."


**Title: **THE ANNUAL YULETIDE PIRATES BALL**  
Author: **Krys**  
Written for: **Michele**  
Characters/Pairing: **Ragetti, Pintel, Murtogg and Mulroy**  
Rating: G**  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters, and it's a good thing that I don't otherwise they would take over my life! **  
Author's Notes: **Written for 2009 Secret Santa exchange. Michele had requested _"a story about one (or more) of the lesser characters. Someone you don't here about very often, like Mulroy, Murtogg, Pintel, Ragetti, Gov Swann or anyone else that doesn't get written about as often as the main characters do." _The only one I missed in that is Governor Swann… and given a bit more time, I might even have figured out a way to work him in! _**  
**_**Summary: **Post-AWE, the Black Pearl makes port in Tortuga in time for the holidays. As each pirate is doled out his (or her) share of the prize, they head into town to enjoy their brief respite on land.

Tortuga!

Where else would any self-respecting pirate head for the holiday season? What with the annual Yuletide Pirates ball on top of the regular festivities, it was enough to temp any good man who followed the sweet trade.

Pintel and Ragetti surveyed the hectic scene that greeted their eyes the instant they set foot upon that beloved soil of Tortuga. For once they had coin in their pocket, or more exactly, in the chest they carried, and the curse had been lifted. Now they could enjoy the town like never before.

Grinning gleefully at the prospect of several days of revelry in port at this blissful location, the pair each picked up their side of the chest, their share of the latest prize. Struggling with the bulky chest, they headed determinedly through the noisome streets to the Widow Twanky's humble abode, certain to find a place to stay.

As they struggled with their bulky chest, the sounds of Tortuga swirled around them, with the main theme being the Pirates Ball to be held on Christmas Day. Grinning across at his partner, Pintel nodded in satisfaction. "That is where we be going tomorrow night!"

"Going to be fun, won't it?" Ragetti grimaced as a drunken wench and her swain bumped into him, almost causing him to drop his side of the prized chest. "Do you think maybe we might find ourselves a girl to dance with?"

"Course we will," Lifting his side of the chest up slightly, Pintel sighed happily. "With all this treasure, we shall have our choice o' ladies."

"And I can gets me a new eye. Do ya think I can get one a'fore the ball?" The one-eyed pirate blinked hard with his wooden eye. A passing wench, mistaking it for a lewd wink reached out and slapped him hard. "OW! Wot was 'at for?" But the chit had walked on without hearing him or answering.

Pounding on the door at their destination, they were greeted pleasantly by the Widow. "Good day to ye boys. Good to see ye again. Same as always?"

Pintel shook his head. "No ma'am. This time we wants us a private room. No need to be sharing with the riff raff."

Chuckling at his description of his fellow pirates, the Widow Twanky eyed their chest. "Come into yer own it seems, well boys it'll cost ye two gold coins for the week."

Though the price seemed steep, Pintel looked at his friend. "Well, go ahead an ' pay her."

"Me?" Ragetti was a bit shocked, but rummaged through his pockets and finally found two gold pieces. Reluctantly handing them over to the widow, he sighed heavily. "Course, I guess we have us a whole lot more," he mused as he once more picked up his side of the chest. "And it will be nice to have a private room."

Finally reaching their private chambers, they set the chest in the very center of it. Staring happily at it, both had visions of what they would do with their wealth. The private room was simply the beginning.

Rubbing his hands excitedly, Pintel finally reached for the latch. Using the point of his knife, he worked it into the lock twisting and turning it as he tried to pry it open.

"'Hurry up!" Ragetti's voice broke the silence of the room.

"I am hurrying!" Pintel glared at his partner in this venture. With a hard jab to the lock, he broke it and tossed it aside. With a grand gesture, he threw back the lid.

They both eagerly leaned over to peer inside at their riches; their faces lit with joy at the prospect of untold riches for the chest had been a heavy one to haul through the town.

Their expressions quickly changed to complete disgust as they stared at the contents of the chest.

"Dresses!" Pintel snorted derisively. "Wot are we goin'ta do wif dresses?" He'd picked up lush golden gown trimmed with handmade lace. Tossing it on the nearby chair, the gown slid off and crumpled into a silken pile upon the floor.

"Well, ye did look right fancy 'at last time ye wore one," Ragetti made reference to the time when they had been cursed. "All dolled up and…"

Pintel swatted him with a walking stick he'd discovered in the chest. "I ain't wearin' no dress again!" He took the walking stick and lifted the golden gown from the floor and tossed it up. "Dresses. We're doomed, can't buy no rum with dresses."

"An' I can't buy me eye," Ragetti's pitiful voice told his feelings on that subject.

"No rum 'n no eye. An' now we ain't got no money! We just gave the widow Twanky most o' our last few coins."

"And we sure can't go to the ball," Gloom laced Pintel's voice.

Ragetti's face suddenly brightened. "Well, it is a nice room, pretty curtains and look 'at the bed. Ain't slept in a real bed in months."

His attempt to cheer up his partner did not work. "Ye can't eat nor drink a bed or curtains ye fool!" Pintel sat down on the bed. "Sides, I'm sleeping in the bed."

"But it were my coins…"

Outside a pistol went off. Ragetti moved to look out the window. Staring down into the street he recognized two of their newest comrades. "Wonder wot they got? Think they might share?"

"Wot self- respectin' pirates are gonna share with the like o' ye numbskull? Would ye share?"

"But they weren't always pirates," Ragetti replied wistfully, still staring down at the street.

"Who is it?" Suddenly curious, Pintel moved to the window to look out. "Where are they?"

"It be them two 'at were in the Royal Navy a'fore they became pirates, umm…" Ragetti scratched his head, trying to remember their names. "Murtoy and Mullrog, er Murgatory and Muggle. No, 'at ain't right. Murtogg and Mulroy! 'At be the names!"

Pintel shoved him roughly aside. Staring down, he finally saw the two former military men. They were carrying their more modest chest through the streets. Being the newest members of the Black Pearl, they'd had a smaller share doled out to them.

"Mebbe they gots the gold?" Ragetti mused as he took note of the smallish chest.

"An' mebbe we can swap it out before they opens it and find out. Come on!" Grabbing Ragetti by the coat, he hauled him out of the room. Scrambling down the stairs, they waved at the Widow Twanky who was cooking by the fire. "Be rights back!"

"Dinner will be six o'clock sharp! Do not be late!" Her shrill voice followed after them. "And don't be bringing none of them riff raff friends of yours neither."

Ragetti stopped, turned back and looked at the widow. "Yes ma'am. We wouldn't do a thing like that," Tugging his forelock as he still remembered a few of his manners, he turned and dashed after his partner again.

Tumbling out of the house, they scanned the streets. Pintel spotted them first. "There!" Dashing after the two men, he pushed and shoved through the crowded street finally catching up.

Sliding to a stop, the Ragetti spoke first. "Fancy meetin' you boys out 'ere. Where ye be staying?"

Startled at being accosted so, Murtogg and Mulroy practically dropped the chest they were lugging along.

"Well, we all arrived on the same ship, so of course it would be common to encounter fellow shipmates in town," Murtogg explained to the pair, thinking them rather stupid to comment on that.

"Of course he knows we were on the same ship, he asked where we are staying!" Mulroy snapped back.

"Staying?" Murtogg turned to look at his more rotund friend. "I don't believe we have decided on that."

"No, we really have never been in Tortuga before, at least not as pirates."

"And in the Royal Navy…"

A loud shriek rent the air. "THE ROYAL NAVY?"

"WHERE?"

"Dunno, but some bloke be talkin' bout 'em. Best to 'ide mates! Take no chances!"

With that proclamation, people began to shout in panic, racing for the nearest building as they attempted to find a reasonable hiding place. Since most headed for the nearest pub, it really wouldn't have taken much to find them, but at least they could hide in their bottle of rum.

"We're not in the Navy anymore!" Mulroy tried to stem the sudden scurrying of folks as they disappeared. "Well, that was interesting," Staring at the now rather deserted streets.

Pintel snorted back a laugh. "Must watch what ye say. Folks here ain't rightly pleased to see his majesties lobsters, if ye follow my meaning," He'd been thinking quickly during the near riot. "So you boys have no place to stay? We might be able to help you out there. Can even help you find where to sell your plunder too."

"Really?" Murtogg beamed at that. "Rather nice of you."

Ragetti stared at his friend. What was the man up to? But rather than argue, he simply smiled in agreement.

"We be staying at the Widow Twanky's place, and I'm sure there be a room for you boys. While she's fixing it up we can see what you boys have in there," Pintel stared at their chest. "Help you figure out where to sell it for the best price."

The two men joined Ragetti and Pintel and followed them back to the Widow's place. Entering, they could hear her in the back. "Mrs. Twanky?" Pintel shouted down the hall where he heard her voice.

"What be the problem now?"

"No problem, just ran into some friends, they be needing a room too."

Within seconds she appeared, happy to have more rooms filled. "I'll set up another room, private o'course. Same price as I charged them, two gold coins."

Once the price had been paid, she took off to prepare the room while the four men hauled the second chest up to the room. Pintel suddenly remembered the dresses he'd strewn around the room. "I'll go on up and open the room," He raced ahead and quickly tossed the gowns back in and slammed the lid shut just as Ragetti escorted the other two into the room.

"Let's take a look-see, shall we?" Pintel urged Murtogg and Mulroy on.

"Oh, right," they had set the smaller trunk down on the small table in the room.

"Needs a key," Mulroy stared at the lock.

"Barbossa didn't give us a key," Murtogg replied.

"That's because he doesn't have the key, it was stolen."

"Why would someone steal the key?"

"They didn't steal the key, they stole the chest."

"Boys! Boys!" Pintel interrupted the argument. "We don't need a key," holding up his knife, he started to pry the lock then paused. "Unless you want to trade chests?" He looked up at the pair as innocently as he possibly could.

"Oh, we could never do that."

"Right, that was the one you were given."

"They were all stolen. Well not really stolen, more like we found 'em on the ships we took," Pintel reminded them. "Never can tell what you're going to get…"

"Like dresses! That's what we got!" Ragetti shouted, spoiling the entire set up.

Pintel glared at him, but the other two didn't notice that exchange. "No, wouldn't be right taking your chest," Murtogg concluded.

Pintel growled under his breath, but went back to work on the lock. With a loud snap, it too broke and fell to the floor. "There you go boys," He stepped back dejectedly, certain they were going to have a chest filled with coins and jewels.

Mulroy flipped the lid open and looked at the pile of things inside. "Interesting, but I don't think we can use any of these," He picked up a lace-edged fan and held it aloft. "Do you think we can barter this for something?" He continued to pull out all manner of gewgaws that a fancy lady might like, but nothing that a pirate could use for rum.

Pintel sat down on the edge of the bed. "Looks like you've got the same luck we do mates. We got ourselves a huge chest of dresses," Shaking his head he went on. "And I refuse to wear one again. Looks like none of us are going to that ball."

The four men contemplated their fate in silence, staring at the pile of trinkets, baubles and dresses. A sharp rap at the door disturber their reverie.

Ragetti stepped over to open it. The Widow Twanky stood in the doorway. "Gents, the other room be ready," Then she noted all the long faces. "Why do glum? Tis Christmas eve and tomorrow is the big Pirates Ball."

Ragetti pointed to the two treasure chests. "That's why," As if that was sufficient explanation.

The Widow Twanky didn't understand. "Ye got two treasures, that be better than one in my books," She spoke firmly as if that was sufficient to make things better for them.

"But we don't wear dresses anymore," Ragetti's forlorn voice couple with the look of complete disgust upon his face caused Widow Twanky to throw back her head and laugh.

When she finally was able to speak again, she stepped into the room and headed over to inspect the gowns. Picking up one, she closed her eyes in rapture as she allowed the soft silk slide through her fingers. "Pure gold, ah… I remember once when Mr. Twanky brought me a fine dress, just like these. Went to the ball we did. Danced till dawn."

Opening her eyes once more, she looked at the four men. "So, ye've a treasure and ye don't know it."

"That is no treasure," Pintel practically spat the words out.

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong boys," Widow Twanky went out into the hallway and stepped across to another room. Knocking loudly, she shouted. "Madeline! You awake?"

A few moments later, the door slowly opened. A buxom redhead yawned as she looked out into the hall. "Yes ma'am. I paid for the room for a week I did."

"I know you did. That ain't why I bothered ye. Are ye going to the Pirates ball tomorrow?"

Shaking her head as she yawned again. "No, ain't got a thing to wear and Watson's store don't expect any ships in with any till after the new year. I ain't gonna be seen in that rag I been wearing all year."

"Come along then," The older woman turned to go back into Pintel and Ragetti's room, Madeline following quietly.

Stretching as if she had just been woken up, which she had, Madeline yawned once more then looked around. "So? Why'd ya bring me here?" She started to look at each of the men, curious as to why they'd wanted to see her.

"What do ye think of these?" Widow Twanky held up the gold gown that Pintel had earlier discarded as useless.

Madeline's eyes flew open. "Bloody beautiful! Where'd ya find it?" Her eyes darted to the two chests and she took in all the different gowns and accessories. "It be a right treasure trove ya got here!" She grabbed the gold gown and held it up to her body. "How much ya want for it?"

"I didn't find it, the gents here brought them, but I'd say it'd be worth five gold pieces," Twanky was smiling now.

Madeline grinned. "Deal!" She reached down her bodice and retrieved a small pouch. Taking out five gold coins, she set them on the table. "Let me make sure this is the one I want," with that, she started to dig through the chest.

Watching as Madeline started digging through the chests she stepped over to the men. "Ten percent be my share, and I'll find ye gels enough to sell the lot of them, deal?"

The four men exchanged a quick glance then turned and nodded as one. "Aye!"

Within an hour, a line had formed outside of the Widow Twanky's house as word had gone round of the fine gowns to be had. Practically every female in Tortuga waited anxiously to see if they would be lucky enough to get in to view and perhaps purchase one of the gowns.

Inside things had sorted out rather well. The parlor had been swiftly changed over to a showroom for the gowns and accessories. Murtogg stood at the door, permitting a new lady to enter only after one had exited. They'd agreed to only let a small number of ladies into the room at one time. His partner stood guard over the pile of coins they were now collecting. Pintel and Ragetti used their extensive knowledge of women's finery to select complimentary gowns for each of their customers, and the Widow Twanky simply watched over it all, beaming as she thought of the outrageous prices she had set upon each item and her ten percent share.

Eventually the last item was sold and the five people gathered around the table. Mulroy slowly counted the coins out and calculated Widow Twanky's share. Handing it over to her, he began to sort out the rest.

Pintel stopped him. "No, we share it equal."

"But you had the bigger chest," Murtogg protested.

"Aye, we did. But if it weren't for your chest, we wouldn't have sold as much. Those baubles sure helped make some of them women pay extra," He was shaking his head as he recalled a few of the ladies had almost come to blows over some of the items and had actually paid more just to get them. The pile of coins left after the Widow's share was more than even he'd expected from the original chest when they had first opened it.

"There be enough for all of us," Ragetti added his voice in. "An' I can even get me a new eye!"

"And we can all attend the Pirates Ball!" Murtogg beamed happily.

"Let's go celebrate!" Pintel's suggestion was met with a chorus of Ayes. Each tucked their share of the wealth away safely and set out to the nearest tavern, certain that they would enjoy the Pirates Ball on the morrow.


End file.
